The first time I auditioned for a musical in grade 9. I had never really sang out loud in front of people, and if I did, I would purposely butcher it in an attempt to make it sound like a joke so that no one would take me seriously. I was so afraid of being criticized that I kept my mouth shut for 14 years of my life. When I first heard of the musical, I knew I wanted to be a part of the cast because my love for singing and performance had grown so much. I wanted to use this as an opportunity to get over my fear of singing. The first time I really sang in front of my friends was during the audition, and I still remember their shocked faces because they didn’t know I could actually sing. Seeing that was a huge confidence booster and it made me want to continue singing.
I have a mini album in the works, with the story about self discovery and the assertion of identity. It starts with Rag Doll, which is about gaining sentience after being trapped in a toxic relationship that stripped the person in it of their identity. Then it turns into something darker, with the next song’s themes being of obsession. How obsession drives you to try and fix yourself so quickly that you end up breaking down even more. The next song, Death of a Flower, is based on a fictional disease called Hanahaki and is about the unrequited love we feel, as well as mourning what could’ve been.
Hope’s Lullaby, the next song, is about the death of hope. It asks the question, how will we be able to move on from this situation now that we have to come to terms with the fact that it truly is gone? The last song is called Green Ribbons and is based on the story of Jenny and the Green Ribbon. This song is meant to represent vulnerability, being able to be vulnerable with yourself and with others. It also represents what it feels like to take the first step towards healing.